Shakespeare portrait project

My own personal project for the year is to read and see more Shakespeare works. Since the kids share the same space as me, they have been caught in the tide. Mr 9 and Miss 7 and I decided to sit and copy one of the classic portraits of William Shakespeare. 

Droeshout portrait. An engraving by Martin Droeshout as frontispiece to the collected works of Shakespeare (the First Folio), printed in 1622 and published in 1623. (from Wikipedia)

We were aiming for a caricatured, fun impression. This is mine. I love the line drawings the kids did, but they are a bit shy about me putting their artwork online (which is a good thing!).

We wanted to have matching Shakespeare themed tshirts for a Shakespeare festival we were going to. Since buying was expensive and time consuming, we decided to design our own. 

The kids did two drawings each, so altogether we had five. I scanned the drawings into the computer. Then, I edited them in Picasa and put them into a photo collage. I then had five portraits in one file to send off to a tshirt printer. Our lovely local printer, Eco Shopper, printed our little batch of five shirts (extras for friends) on the same day. The photo below is used with the permission of Miss 7 and Mr 9.

It's a fun way to appropriate and display our artistic collaboration.  

A big family is (painfully) changing me

Years ago, a friend said that you just can't parent three or four children in the same way you parent one or two. I have since had five kids and I agree.

I look at the wonderful habits and convictions and practices I had when I had my first and second child. I was calm. I never corrected my children when I was angry. I was on top of everything they did; instructing, correcting, training all the way. I read aloud for hours. I let them help with the washing up. We walked to the park. We walked to the shops. They had nap times at a particular time every day. We trained the children to have self control and not get out of bed before 7am. I exercised. I could study while the kids slept. I sat and played with them. I styled my hair every second day. I saw friends. I started blogging and writing prolifically (www.womenbiblelife.com). I read a lot. There were difficulties, meltdowns, fatigue, frustrations, depression. It still felt hard back then. But I look back and marvel at what I used to be able to do.

Life is bulkier now, cluttered with things which must be done. Every other day, I chide myself for all the good habits I used to have. I wonder why I can't parent the way I used to. I get frustrated that I can't will myself out the door for a run. I worry that I don't read enough to the littlest boys. I feel terrible for how infrequently I see my friends. I get angry. I get a buzz of adrenaline as I look at a course I would like to study, but then remember that there are no gaps in my routine, nor space in my mind. I hear reports of what one of the little boys is up to in another room and sigh. I just don't know what to do. If I did know what to do, I'm not sure I could disentangle myself to get there and do it anyway.

In those times, I am measuring myself by what I used to do, a few kids ago. But this is a different game now. More players means the rules have to change.

There is no avoiding the fact that I am finite. I simply cannot parent the way I once wanted to. When I had only a couple of children, I was able to indulge my perfectionism a bit. I used to figure that if I did everything right, then everything would turn out the way I imagined it should. I am very thankful that I cannot pretend that way any more. It was never true. 

Having five kids has forced me to see my children as individuals who have minds and hearts of their own. They are not projects for me to cultivate. I cannot control all the elements which shape them. I can do my best to make good choices as a mother, but whatever I come up with will be imperfect. This handful of children remind me hourly that I am not in control.

I think the main difficulty with a big family, is feeling bad that I simply can't parent along the default lines set by an individualistic culture. Every individual in our family is constantly bending and adjusting and colliding with the needs of others. All of us have our self centredness ambushed. I cannot mother my children and still do everything I like to do. They cannot grow as one of five children and still feel like the world is at their mercy. It hurts. It's painful. It's messy, but it is really good for us all.

I am learning that happiness does not come from doing what we want, whenever we want. It does not even come from achieving our goals and being in control. Happiness is not something we can catch, control and keep on a leash. It pops up unexpectedly, often out of a maze of other messy feelings. It sprouts best when we are getting on with doing other things.

I am going to stop comparing myself-with-five-children with myself-with-two-children. I'm sure my memories of myself-with-two-children is glossed anyway. Sure, there are things which are not happening at the moment. There are a whole lot of really great things happening instead. The difference is, I am not under the delusion that I am orchestrating all these good things.

Maths we like

It seems I have been too busy doing life to blog about it! As a Saturday night treat, here I am, blogging.

We have had a WHOLE term, with no complaints about mathematics. Actually, Miss 7 sits down several times a day, seven days a week (voluntarily) to do her maths. This is the first home education resource I have paid for and still been happy to use, in its entirety, four months later.

With Maths Online, we've got a year of access to all content between Prep and Year 12, for three students. Every lesson has an insntructional video, which is really clear. Questions can be done until the student is confident with the material. A report of all the work done that week by each student is emailed to me weekly. I can check in on the activity of each child, whenever I want. There are diagnostic tests available to use when we want to.

It has been a great help in supporting areas of need (it is so easy to go back and re-watch a lesson which has not been understood completely). It has also allowed our kids to work at a pace which suits them, in a way which we can measure. There are other ways which our kids study maths during the day, but this is a great foundation for making sure a whole lot of material is covered and understood.

I also love it, because it is work which the kids can sit down and do independently, while I chase a few other little boys around the house. Oh, my husband loves it too. He hacks the kids' accounts so he can re-live his high school maths glory days.

A beautiful mess

Our baby is now 8 months old. Life is pretty cumbersome at the moment. I am treading water in a sea of cuteness and chaos. I cannot blog predictably, so, I am popping my head up out of the water to note an assortment of things I am learning:

• When I write a list of "things to do", every second item on my list is now, "unexpected job". Most of what I do in a day are things which interrupt my task list. Nappies, coaching children through conflict, dealing with the flood of milk on the kitchen floor, the broken glass. These "interruptions" are my job. If I account for the unexpected little jobs which I have to stop and attend to, then I am less surpised when it takes me four hours to do something which would ordinarily take twenty minutes.

• With five children, it is unusual for everyone to be happy at the same time. There is almost always someone who has an issue in any moment. The more I expect this, the less draining it is. It is still draining though.
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• The very things which make home education difficult are the same reasons why we are doing it. It would be easier in the short term to not have to deal with the inter-personal and attitude complications. It would be nice to outsource some of the frustrations and feelings of inadequacy. But we do want to actively parent these issues, so we remain present in our children's education. It is harder, but it is good.

• The rubbish in our studio will make some great artworks one day. I have made some prints from paint left on pallettes which the kids were finished with. I would also like to make a collage with all the random little drawings that the kids have done over the years. All the gadgets, creatures, weapons, castles, vehicles and maps brought together in one image.

• Minecraft is fabulous for many things. The problem is, those good things might be at the expense of other things which I care about more. We are now saving minecraft projects for school holidays. Since cutting minecraft out of our typical days, the kids are reading for fun again.They are no longer sitting around bored, waiting for when they are allowed to go on the computer again. Cutting off that option means they are once again seeing the other fabulous things around them.

• The studio space is a real gift. It gets used so often. The four year old is able to get out the materials he needs whenever an idea needs to come to life. This didn't happen when the art and craft things were in a box in the cupboard. It is a beautiful mess.
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• The chalk wall is great for me. I find my mind is so cluttered, that being able to write a note to myself, or for the kids to write a note, is a big help. I will often idly stand in front of the chalk wall, feeling like I don't know what to do with myself and the answer is staring right at me. It externalises some of my thinking. 

• It is really hard to sit and read aloud to everyone, or anyone, at the moment. This hurts because it is what I want to be doing most in our home learning environment. I often find I spend several hours in the morning setting up the conditions so I can sit and read to them. Because of unexpected jobs, no sooner do I sit down and there is an emergency of some sort. Or I am exhausted. 

• The stages of life when you need a couple of great, gritty friends are the same stages of life when you've got very little capacity for relationships. God has given us a couple of people like this who keep us afloat. Friends who know our family well enough to just the domestic reins sometimes are priceless. The sort of friends who share our space, eat meals and then blitz the kitchen while we put the kids to bed. The sort of friends who aren't offended when I am too tired to string a sentence together. The sort of people who we don't need to perform for. 

• I've had enough children to realise that these particularly messy, tiring stages come and go. Every month is different as children move through various stages of development. We must not despair. What feels impossible this month might be ok in a few weeks.

• I am also reminded that even when I am tired, or completely not achieving everything I think I ought to, my kids are still learning. Sometimes much more because I am not getting in the way with my own agenda.

• On the really challenging days, I am so glad to be doing what we are doing. I want to be here. I like this mess.

A happy relationship with spelling

I have found two articles which are helping me make sense of teaching and learning spelling. I thought I'd share them, for the sake of those who are anxious about their child's spelling performance. It helps to look at the problem from other people's angles, to work out our own solutions.

Trevor Cairney's post outlines the developmental stages in spelling, along with several spelling strategies. I find it helpful to see the patterns of what is typical at different stages of development, so that I can be realistic and not create unnecessary angst. As always, his blog is a hub of useful links.

Misty Adoniou's post focuses on just one, the morphemic (meaning based), approach to teaching and learning spelling. She highlights that teaching spelling is more than testing lists.

In the very least, this reading confirms my conviction that learning skills in English is best done by spending lots of pleasant time with words, in many different forms, in the company of some more experienced English speakers.

It often feels that when we open a book with a child, the words become little creatures which behave in certain ways and which each have a story to tell.

The value of the chalking wall

Until the recent string of public holidays, we have had a large wall covered in maps. It has been a good reference (and had a lot of visual punch when home school inspectors came to check us out). It has been a nice thing for visitors to look at and talk about-everyone comes from somewhere on a map. Most days there is a reason to look at the world map or the anatomy charts with the kids.

On an impulse, I sent the maps to the hallway and painted the giant wall with chalkboard paint.

Everyday since, I have found a new surprise on the wall. Every visitor has left their special mark. It is an invitation to play in our space; to teach and learn with us; to remember useful things.

It is also an easy way to encourage written communication for the kids. When they want me to remember something, they can write it on the wall. My husband drew up a plan for the week and we both knew what we were working toward. When I wrote my own task list of housework, I was delighted to find Steve had crossed a few jobs off the list for me.

There have been some spontaneous lessons between father and children about perspective drawing. When one visitor drew a rose, one of our kids copied it. Another visitor introduced games based around writing words backwards. !gnilleps rof noitavitoM. It has encouraged drawing on a vertical surface which is good for some low muscle tone among our children. The wall is a place to draw temporary things, which is good for perfectionists who are paralysed by permanence.


I used Murobond Society Inc Chalkboard paint in Ship Chandler (a delicious chocolatey brown). The chalk wipes off effortlessly with a damp cloth to look like a normal wall. I am very impressed with the product. I am tempted to paint a few more walls with it. I have limited myself to a handy rectangle of chalkboard in the laundry for listmaking. The cubby house will get a dose of some of the fruity chalkboard colours available at some stage. It is lovely to start the new year with useful novelty!

Image from here

Respecting our own human-ness

I went to a conference earlier in the year for women who home educate. The best part for me was the anecdotal advice I gleaned on the edges of conversations and presentations.

One particular point stuck. It was about recognising our own personality and wiring as we parent. Creative people need to keep being creative as they do whatever family life requires of them. Movers need to move. Some people can't think while there is a basket of dirty laundry waiting to be washed. People caring for small children who need a nap need to make sure they get one. Introverted folk need to be realistic about their capacity for constant interaction. Some people need to put a date with silence in the schedule. Some people need to wake up to a slow coffee. I'm sure everyone has one element that makes a disproportionate difference to everything.

If we ignore our build and pretend we are infinite, living as if the world is dependent on us, then we will not last long. We are dependent creatures.

This isn't about getting everything we want ("me time" makes me feel very ill). It is working out what we need so we can keep functioning (even joyfully!) for the good of others.

I have worked out a few things which easily get sidelined, but which help me persevere more cheerfully:
1. Time reading a bit of the Bible and talking to God each day (apart from the moment by moment dependence).
2. A novel nearby, to escape into when an odd, empty five minutes appears.
3. A creative project.
4. Time to plan and write each week.
5. Afternoon rest time.

a little sanity knitting project (it's a baby sleeping bag)

To do these things, I have to leave other work undone for a while. But we could work 24 hours in a day and still never get things conquered. We need to pause the constancy, recognise our limits and invest in perseverance. Anyone for a cup of tea?

(I have worked through similar themes, mostly depression, on Women Bible Life. This post is a starting point.)